When the conversation stalls to the point of becoming stagnant how do leaders overcome the impasse and move on?
Well, in business senior managers know that doing nothing is simply never an option: like the peace corps of the executive world, they have learned to implement the art of tactical negotiation.
As with all good business strategies, this begins with identifying long-term goals rather than continually assessing the personalities involved.
Attending to results rather than wrestling with egos brings a sharper focus to discussions. In fact, egos should be left outside the meeting room entirely. Want a role model? Think more The Dalai Lama than Donald Trump.
And to help avoid sounding egocentric, rather than saying ‘I’, say ‘we’ instead: as in ‘we might try this approach’ rather than ‘I think we should try this’. This inclusiveness shows more respect and naturally draws the other party into the conversation.
Of course, in face-to-face negotiations our egos can show through our body language as much as the words we choose.
So, as well as avoiding the power grab handshake and scary thousand-yard stare, communicate your openness and intensity of interest by sitting forward and physically and mentally leaning into the conversation.
If your other party is less amenable than you, try not to take their behaviour personally. Remember: always focus on the results.
Of course, being open and transparent doesn’t mean you should be afraid to ask for what you want. The most successful negotiators are both engaged and engaging but they’re also assertive because they know everything is up for grabs.
Note there’s a big difference between being assertive and becoming aggressive. Keep in mind this simple rule. Assertiveness is when you pursue the interests of your own business but respect the priorities of others.
Aggression is when you pursue the interests of your own business but disregard other people’s interests.
Finally, never underestimate the power of helping another party to move closer to where they want to be. It isn’t about surrendering to their demands, but it does make them feel as though they’re being listened to and their interests are being acknowledged.
This is far more likely to remove intransigence and fast-track negotiations to the next level.
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